Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I hate stupid guys..
I didn't blogged this 2 weeks ago because I was pretty broken down.. but because of yesterday I was pissed enough to say this:"Tilford, I hate that you stay on my agenda. Worry about what you think? I do a lot. But my anger towards you is sky rocketing every time I see you! And i'm sorry to say, I can't let you manipulate me any longer.
Let's say this, plain and simple. No matter how tired you are of your beloved one, or how attracted you are to me, or how much fun it is away from your girl, OR HOW much you want to try to try things different.. you STILL have a girlfriend. One that love you very much. So don't even go there. Actually.. it's too late... you should of NEVER went there. So i'm putting an end to it now. I won't be entangled within this triangle anymore."
October 10th
Tuesday & Wednesday last week-
I was WAY confident. I had just FINALLY gotten my hair done in a new style, new cute preppy clothes, had an older mature look, and I was stealing all the looks on the hallways. Also stealing all the compliments. I just found out I aced my writing test and had a 99.28 out of 100 in Chemistry, and a 97.56 in Spanish 2. I did well in Investment and even my Trig class was better.. which is rare. At the end of the day, Wednesday, I was walking with Tay-tay and I ran into Tilford. He just stared at me like,'woah, look at you..' and smirked. And since we were walking past each other without stopping, I just laughed and we smiled like we knew we were happy with that. And usually i'm just prone to him kidding around and being childish, so it was really nice. The very next day I was looking forward to spending quality time with him. So as I was leaving advisement and going down to our class I only felt relaxed. I was smiling for no reason and breezing by all kinds of problems. So when I got to the bottom of the steps I could hear laughing from down the hallway. It made me even more happy because it was joyous. You know how you might feel good, but if everyone else is bad you can't feel good? So when you're happy and so is everyone else, you suddenly feel brighter or more confident about things? Well yeah. But as I came to the hall of my class, it took me by surprise as to who the laughing was coming from. I felt like someone threw a cinder block at the back of my head. It was Tilford and his girlfriend Kenya. His recently broken-up-but-now-back-together "girlfriend". They were holding each other and kissing like little innocent children, and laughing. I just stood there frozen.. When they realized I was standing there, I dropped my smile and stared at him in the most pathetic way. I almost felt like crying because I did that. It was so obvious I was shocked. So I quickly started walking and nodded my head at her and smiled a little, like nothing was wrong.
I went straight into class and to the back of the room, thinking and feeling like crap. That's when I realized something. I remembered how this happened to her! That very first time she saw us playing with each other. She strolled in the class smiling and bright, ready to see him, but found him laughing and holding another girl. Me. When I looked at her, she was just standing there all sad looking. Then I thought, "Omg.. is this ironic or what?! How can the same thing happen to me? Is this karma?!" Then I felt worse. It wasn't that I was mad, or confused because they were back together, but more that I was caught off guard and my pride was anchored. I was literally JUST daydreaming about my day with him, and I walked into that! It was TOTALLY obvious how shocked and torn I was. And I let her see it! Both of them! God.. how unfortunate. But it's fine, because it was never my place. I think I got what I deserved. But i'll tell you what I don't! Ever since that happened, I don't know if Kenya told him to stay away from me or he decided himself, or what, but every time we're in that class, he NEVER speaks to me. If so, only about work. Okay, you might think I'm clingy, or cold or being a home wrecker, and that I should stop being so friendly with him, but it's not like i'm trying to get his love, I'm just being normal! This is what he does.
I walk into class, I say hey to him, he says nothing or he says hey all hurried and quick like 'yeah whatever'. I talk to him, he acts like he doesn't hear me. And when I fuss about him ignoring me, he'll say, "Oh, I really didn't hear you.. I'm kinda busy right now." But talks to everyone else. When I ask him a question about work, he answers with lack of detail. Like if I were to ask, "Where are the folders?" "In the back." "Where? In the crates, the file cabinet.. or what?" "...Either or." Then I just glare and go looking myself. Someone else comes along and asks out loud, "Where did our teacher put the folders?" He'll say, "Oh! She put them in the storage room.. they're in the 3rd drawer in the file cabinet." WTH?! Fucking bastard! What did I do to deserve this?! Nothing! He tries his BEST to stay clear of me! So i'm like.. you know what, whatever. Wanna jump stupid? Fine. I totally see how it is. But then, later in Accounting, he has the NERVE to come up to me and hug me, make jokes, bother me, talk to me, mess with my hair, poke me, and CONSTANTLY call my name? The same day where earlier he treats me like an old enemy?! Oh WHAT?!?! NOW I see what's going on! I most certainly do!! He gives me the cold shoulder where he knows his girlfriend comes to visit him, but he knows she doesn't come on the hall that accounting is on, so he's all off the leash and shit. Bullshit! You wanna treat me like that?! First of all, it was HIM that bothered ME in the beginning. It was HIM that came onto ME. HE wanted to be my friend. I paid him NO attention. HE wanted to date me. HE wanted to take me to the con. HE treated his girlfriend like crap. HE spent all his time with me. I only fell over him after getting use to him.. and he wants to play it like this?! Son of a bitch.. what the hell does he take me for? What a pussy! Yes, if you know you still like me but not man enough to forget me or let your girlfriend know! Fucking coward. He wants to play like that, I can do it too. Act like I don't exist one place? Stay the fuck off me else where! And his girlfriend is out of it too! Looking at me like i'm some home wrecker.. bitch, it was YOUR boyfriend that fell all over me and told everybody that you guys broke up! I was actually sad for her. I actually disliked him for dumping her.. because I knew she love him and he was all over me! How dare she stare me down like i'm some low class slut that wants every bodies man. I am so not that! I almost have the right mind to go up to her and tell her how it REALLY is, because he's always over me and other girls. But I don't wanna start drama and ruin anything. God she doesn't know how lucky she is. She should be fucking bowing down for me not to ruin anything, and he should be kissing my ass for not telling her anything! I am so under appreciated. But that's totally fine, because i'm about to ruin his pride. And already started. Since he acts all normal in accounting.. Ashely came up to me as whispered loudly if I liked him when he was right there. I said out loud, "No. How can I when he has a loving girlfriend?" He tried to hug me, I pushed him off me and looked at him like he was stupid. They wanna act like snobs, i'll act just as bad.
Just yesterday I walked into class and she and him were laughing and talking to each other while sitting on each others lap. I noticed they did it a lot more since I walked in. It's fucking sick I tell you. Before it was okay, but I swear now it seems they're doing it on purpose because they know i'm in there. That's okay, my friend said for me, "Um, i'm sorry, can you two do that somewhere else, it's kind of irritating, thanks!" Then Tilford said, "I'm sorry is there a jealous person that said that?" And I came out of no where and said, "Uh.. yeah, it's actually just that some of us are too busy planning ways to wreck other people's relationships.. and you're kinda killing the process." Hah! Sarcasm bitch! They stopped then! Kenya wants to act like I'm low.. okay, i'll be your home wrecker alright! I'll get as a lot more lower than she'd except. I have two new favorite enemies this October. And as evil as it gets, they'll both wish they never lacked in their own 'love life.' >:] Fucking assholes. I don't give a fuck.. stooping to their level or not. Who gave them the right to treat me like that? I'm not putting up with all that criticism this year. Oh no Sir! I'm a junior, I really don't have time to be all sad because of some stupid assholes. Gonna fuck with them and have no regrets! >:/
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Jason Chan + Update = [♥]
Halloween's not until two weeks from now, but yesterday marked the 1 month period for my layout, plus I didn't go to school today, so I was tempted to change it :] Up until Halloween i'll be posting pictures and artwork of anything pertaining to Halloween. Cosplay included. x)
This is what I have so far because my mom rushed me off the computer.. it might be changed right now, or the same.. but it's not staying like this.. gotta edit it :]So on with the talented Jason Chan's World of Darkness artbook, which one of the pictures are featured in the layout header. Yep, all about Vamps! And also some of his recent work. :3 Warning NOW.. if Vampires aren't your thing, I suggest you not see the pictures =/
Some pictures were left out because they weren't very excusable.. so yeah, if you wish to see them all, visit Jason's Gallery :]Now some of his recent illustrations-
Black Widow.. this picture actually creeps me out more than the others o_o Maybe because spiders aren't my thing, and neither are crazy widows with knifes x/
Don't know.. but I love it. ^^
Pandora's Box!! :D Omg, I love this one.. it's so awesome and powerful x3
Fire god and sea god.. and death? I guess? o.o;
Black Widow.. this picture actually creeps me out more than the others o_o Maybe because spiders aren't my thing, and neither are crazy widows with knifes x/
Don't know.. but I love it. ^^
Pandora's Box!! :D Omg, I love this one.. it's so awesome and powerful x3
Fire god and sea god.. and death? I guess? o.o;
