Saturday, February 07, 2009
First week♥
Monday- Didn't go to school... chilled..
Tuesday- Um.. I don't even remember this day. I just know I turned in my Physics project, lol.
Wednesday- Okay!! Highlight day for several reasons.. One big reason. So, the final vote for superlatives was in homeroom! That's were in the yearbook you have best dressed, most trady, most likely to succeed, etc. So, how about I got nomiated the week before for most creative, most unique and most talented?? :D Homgosh, great news x3 So this day I found out I was voted more for Most Talented. Mmm.. I was happy, but honestly I was hoping for most Unique, cause that would mean people set me aside from others, which is like, duh, and about time i'm completely recognized for it, and OMG in the yearbook, which is.. forever! But damn.. I don't really care for people to remember me as talented :( Yea, I write awesome poetry, write brilliant songs, my singing isn't run-of-the-mill and it's pretty decent, but geez, the girl i'm up against, Kiki? Okay.. she's this girl that's focused on music. That's no way fair, right? She's a bit better than me because she had vocal experience on 'how to sing' and i'm just 'belter on the back porch'. Plus, I don't want to be a singer. I honestly get tired of singing. She loves it. Plus she can perform way better than me, she'd steal a stage. She has experience. So in all honesty, I'd rather have her win it because it's more important to her and she fits the part.
But wait, there's this huge disadvantage for me. It's not fair because I've been at this school all four years, she's hasn't even been here a full school year and she just comes in and steals my spot?! So what if she's more passionate? She has no right to be given a spot in superlatives! Plus, she was voted for Most Likely to be Famous too! So that would be definitely unfair if she won that and mine! People should just give the 2nd one to her since she's trying to be a singer.. and give me the talented one. I'd be pissed off if it didn't happen that way. But for some reason, it just seems she's gonna win it all. UGH.. what the hell. I rather get voted for Unique and lose than lose to Talented.. -_- it's kinda frustrating..
Moving on.. so J got voted Creative and Unique male, lol. Damn.. and ran against BL. Wow.. what a hard vote.. so no story about that, it's what happened afterwards.. so I went and told J I honestly didn't know who to vote for.. I was eating a Valentines sucker at the time.. so he said, just tell me you voted for me, right? And I was like.. uhhh... so he took the sucker out my mouth and put it in his!! o_o At that time, Ling ling was there with us, so... I couldn't react how I wanted, especially since her eyes turned to me the second it happened.. it was awkward.. I kinda stalled and we all stood for a good 30 seconds. He was just sucking away and smiling directly at me the entire time, ling ling was still staring at me and glancing at him in between waiting on some sort of reaction, and I was just starring at them both looking confused, until I was finally like.. "Omg you suck..", bad choice of words, he said right after, "I know, your lolipop is in my mouth." O_O That's when ling ling was like.. okay, you're officially disgusting and walked away. I snatched my sucker and cleaned it in the fountain and ate it. Ugh.... why did she have to be around?! xO Do you know how things would of been with no one in our pressence?! How would you like it if the guy you think you're currently crushing on takes candy out of your mouth and eats it?! Then makes such a suggestive gesture like that?! Ugh.. my brain melted for those seconds and I couldn't even enjoy it.. -_____-
So the MORE awkward thing was, my ex, which is J's best friend btw, came out of no where. He saw me earlier with a sucker then later saw one in J's mouth, so he asked where we got it from. And J was like, oh this is hers, I got it from her.. o_o I freaked out.. lol. But my ex thought it meant I had suckers, so he asked for some, and I lied and said, um.. I only had two, J nudged me when I said that. A bit later, I forgot what was mentioned but I stupidly asked J if he thought the sucker tasted like mango, he said he thought it was lemon but then my ex was like, how would you know, you had a different sucker, but J replied, I would know, I licked her lolipop. *sigh* Oh God.. he said it loud... and EVERYBODY knows the song Lolipop by Lil Wayne.. so gosh, even outside of the song, that sounds sexual. My ex looked at him in a confused way and saw me basically looking guilty.. for what, idk.. it's not like I did anything.. but secretly enjoy it.. x/ But it made it awkaward because my ex and everybody already thinks J and I have something going on... omg, he had to say that around both parties.. xO So my ex only says, I knew it! J was like, what?! No way man.. what?! No.. we're just friends... cool, that's all.. that's not true! Right Portia? I guess me standing there looking away from them and not responding didn't help convince anyone. Geez.. i'm dumb. J was still trying to make excuses and I just walked out to my class. T-T
Um.. later this day, I was texting J about something and ling ling texted me, so i told him I was texting her and we both decided to play a trick on her. We started bad mouthing each other and now she thinks we dislike each other and want to fight. Lol.. we both forgot to mention we were playing so now this thing gets more serious.. lol. I just hope by now she won't be so mad we lied and made her worry..
Ironicly, my ex and I talked A LOT on the phone after that. Towards the end of our conversation we started talking like we still dated then realized it was wrong.. lets just say it was kinda sad.. cause we basically admitted we still wanted each other in a very pathetic way.. also, I had nothing but J on my mind and thinking about how me and my ex hooking up will only lead to a bigger regret..
Thursday- Me and my ex were acting weird cause of our convo we had the night before.. um.. ling ling worried about me and J disliking eachother so we both continued to act like we didn't. Plus, it was secretly my reason to be away from him anyway because of yesterday..
Didn't work for long as my j, my ex and I take 3rd period together. There me and J were computer partners. I don't know why he sat by me, but further more, I shouldn't of let him! Idiot!! *beats self* Anyway, the entire time he was touching me.. like.. nothing sexual, just like poking me and squishing my cheeks together and pouting my face and stuff. Ugh.. he can't do that stuff.. x( So then, the ex popped out of no where and we didn't notice. Me and him just continued in random conversation until I started looking up my article. We found some of the information interesting, but more so him, so he just leaned in to the computer amazed at some things, but by doing so, he was falling all over my lap. That's when I happened to look and see my ex like 2 tables away looking kinda aggravated. So I quickly elbowed him and exited out my article, lol. Talk about panic.. lol.
Idk.. I shouldn't feel bad at all. My ex did worse to me. When he knew we were still mentally together, he always bothered a girl I kinda disliked. Then when me and her got a lot closer, continued bothering her. Plus the girl happened to be the girl J use to be with.. how double timing is that? So it's only right if the two hurt victims hook up, right? lol.. I say that so easily, but i'm not that cold hearted. Also, I can't lie and say we're basically trying to make each other angry, but we still care for each other so.. I know he didn't care for her.. but still.. the gall he had to even pull a thing like that.. sheesh dude.
Moving on, on my way to the bathroom, I stopped at my ex to see what was bothering him, he said nothing and just said that he was leaving school. I asked why and he just said because he didn't want to be there.. I kind of felt guilty then.. I tried to get him to stay, but I couldn't convince him. I just went continued on to the bathroom. On my way back, me and my ex ran into eachother on the steps, I tried to talk to him but he just kept walking and said he'd was coming back later. Back in the Library at the computer, Jordan was sitting in my seat while another guy was in his, so he moved over and let me sit. I sat side ways with my back to him. A while after when we were about to leave, we leaned on my back and bite my back and then bite me again around where my bra strap was. I just bit him back on the arm cause it hurt.. um.. he tends to do that a lot to people.. but not like that.. that was kinda.................. um.. yea.. not to mention, he mumbled something definately suggestive but when I asked what he said, he said nothing and apologized.. then said something like he doesn't know why he did that and apologized again.. which means he basically wants to do things with me but knows it's wrong like I do.. -_-
SOOO.. fast forward. Me and my gay guy best friend tae tae came late to last period so we couldn't go in. We met up with aretha and skipped in the cafeteria. A bit later, J and the ex walked in. Apparently they left school together and came back. They decided to skip with us. Then another guy, Lamar, walked in and joined us. So... the aura was quite weird between my ex and J and I. It really seemed like they were fighting for my attention. One time.. the ex dropped his phone between my legs, LOL.. i know right, ironic.. and J reached down and got it.. everyone thought that was way to comfortable.. lol.. he didn't touch me though, it just looked wrong. Then, when no one was paying attention, my ex nibbled my arm, and I was like.. "you can't do that.." and he said, "why not, it's not hard, so it's okay." Then J came out of no where and said, "because it turns her on.." everybody also thought that was a bit too weird.. mainly the ex. But before he could say anything, J quickly said, "... but I wouldn't know that.." and everyone looked at me.. lol. I was like, what?! He wouldn't?! The ex was like.. "but doesn't it?" in a sad way, and I stupidly replied, "Not when he does it! It's all hard and it hurts when he bites me!" Geez, I just told on him and myself.. things got super weird then. I started panicing and just picked his hand up and bit it in the most non-sexual way possible, LOL.. I was angry that he kept saying things and plus he bit me earlier and it hurt so I tried to settle it there.. but it didn't bother him.. xO It just made things uneasy.. ;~;
So yea... then aretha and tae tae left.. then J sort of backed off all of a sudden and my ex kept toying with me.. I was kinda glad, because at least that's accepted.. but things were still way weird, not to mention, what the hell, me and my ex aren't even suppose to be flirting.... not at all... x/
Friday- Off all the weird drama and straight to competition for the
Georgia
Career
Student
Association club. I was to take a test in the Entrepreneurship field. I was eligible along with only 3 other people in the region :D So it was 4 of us in different grades and from different schools across Georgia. Also there were two boys, 9th & 10th, and two girls, 11th and me in 12th ^___^ The girl wrote music!! *o* I need to find her and talk business with her! She went to Chapel Hill High, I remember!
Anyway, to make a long story short, I won first place!! :D Boo yah~ I got my plaque, and I'm going to State in April on Jekyll Island! *u* I don't know about you, but that's pretty freaking cool. I just wish it was a school trip, or the club consisted of more people and ones i'm actually good friend's with :/ I'm good friends with NO one in the club. Of course I talk to all of them, but just as classmates or associates.. *sigh*
Anyhow, i'm proud and I can't wait to go. IF... there's some possible way my photos can be retreated to me by mid march, I can change my section to Graphic Arts - Photography and see how that goes. :) Because that was my original plan, but my good photos were stuck on a dead computer :/
Getting back to school I learned my ex's ipod touch, his precious might I add, got stolen. I couldn't be happy after that, surprisingly.. I knew how important is was to him and plus you can't be happy after something so expensive got lost anyway. Also, my new Vivienne Westwood ring I got not long ago was stolen, so I could totally feel his anger and pain :(
Um... I really don't know why fate wouldn't let me be happy, but I had practice for the play after school too.. and boy.. when I finished, I just got sick. My throat had been hurting since that morning but not that bad. I blamed it on singing. Plus I wore heels and my back was literally killing me. I blame sitting in cafeteria seats for 3 hours >:|
So yea.. I think I have a fever now.. it's crazy. Maybe this is God's way of punishing me for my recent frolicing or letting things happen.. idk.. x/
Labels: life, school
Friday, February 06, 2009
30 Fav Rock songs of the moment♥
So....chilled to some nice rock songs this past weekend. Most of them are old... but I like the classics, so who am I to blame? x3
I decided to share the badass songs I had on repeat on my media player. Also since some of you never heard of these awesome people, I think I should put this out there even more :)
Oh yea, p.s some of these vary into like punk rock, and some other weird stuff.. that really may not be considered rock..LOL. As a warning, # 5, 6 & 7 might scare some of you.. sorry x3Newly Added Favorites (in order)31. Fall Out Boy - Tiffany Blews
32. The Veronicas - Untouched
33. The Veronicas - 4ever
1. Racheal Yamagata - Sidedish Freind
2. Greogry and The Hawk - Fin Song 8
3. Radio Head - Karma Police
4. Cat Power - I've Found a Reason
5. Birthday Massacre - Blue
6. Snake River Conspiracy - Love Song
7. Snake River Consiracy - Breed
8. Pilot Speed - Alright
9. Revis - Caught in the Rain
10. Sick Puppies - My World
11. Sick Puppies - All The Same
12. Head Automatica - Beating Hearts Baby
13. Kasier Cheifs - Ruby
14. Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence
15. Soul Coughing - Rolling
16. All American Rejects - Gives You Hell
17. Panic! At the Disco - It's Time to Dance
18. The Dresden Dolls - Alchoholic Friends
19. Avenged Sevenfold - Burn it down
20. Avenged Sevenfold - Unholy Confessions
21. Nirvana - Rape Me
22. Mad at Gravity - Walk away
23. SCANNeRS - Low Life
24. Robots in Disguise - Postcards from...
25. Robots In Disguise - Turn It Up
26. Shiny Toy Guns - Don't Cry Out
27. Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko
28. Yeah yeah yeahs - Maps
29. Brand New - Sowing Season
30. Coldplay - Lost!Labels: music
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Opening February ♥
So the rest of January entering February was pretty nice..
Guys.. 12809, 12909 & 13009 were days I honestly was happy I was with you both. Call me being a girl.. call me dramatic, but you.. no matter how many stories I hear about you and your washington-once-was, and no matter how hurt I still feel about all the other stuff, I won't lie and say I could do nothing but be happy those days. And you.. i'm not suppose to care, but I do. I think, to have you alone is just not right for long, lol. Though I may enjoy your company a bit more sometimes, it's only better when you're a team. But you're like the cool guy friend I never had that I can relax around completely, lol. Anyway, those days made me think of old days before things began to get difficult.. you guys remember some of those care free days? Without awkwardness and frustration? Just chillin after school on Fridays a few times, rockin to guitar hero.. well not me. Thinking about it, makes me miss it all.. it all seems too much like a distant daydream. Because even then we had some issues we thought were bad.. we never got to appreciate them, because maybe we can agree that they were a lot more comforting than now. But anyway, those days listed above, even though nothing really happened at all, let's just say i'll remember them anyway. Let's say they reminded me of what carefree felt like.... so.. lets end our school days together, just like that. That would make me happy. :)
....Okay.. homo emo chick, checkin out~
.Oyasumi.
Labels: life, school
