Thursday, December 06, 2007
No way.. :o
I'm so fucking angry about that because now I feel left out.. i'm like the only one who hates this girl.. I hate feeling like the bitter bitch T.T And it's all Tilford's fault for bringing me into this when he was all serious with her. They've been like dating for 5 years! Then it's like my fault for being so naive. Like, I like him because of all the attention he gives to me and how he flirts and it's always cute. But I should take his flirting as him just being a guy, not a guy that's crazy over me. Like when guys do that I end up falling for them easily because i'm not so use to all that .. UGH. I hate myself. I'm so inexperienced. x(3 days after my birthday, I received the craziest shit news I've EVER received in High School. I've mentioned Tilford and the whole story with him and his girl friend Kenya in the post before this and a lot of others. And you all should know of my friend Tyone (areku) from my Nana Day posts, and other, and her friend Chyna too. Well, u know the anime convention right? Me and Tyone went at the end of September, right? So we looked for Tilford and Tyone's friend, Chyna like through out the entire day. But anyway, I knew of her friend Chyna from long time before the convention because before Nana Day, I talked to her about helping to sew my outfit.. back like in Spring. She sews.. but anyway, I talked to her b4 on the phone and we hung out at the convention and I had heard from her from Tyone and everything.
So, like from October to mid-november, I had been hating Tilfords girlfriend. She sickened me and I hated that she was always around some of the people that liked me, it made me annoyed and uncomfortable. But recently, I realized even if Tilford and her did break up, i figured I wouldn't date him or he wouldn't wanna date me, just get in my pants. Then he'd eventually get back with Kenya. I also realized how much they still like each other, and how they'd been together for 5 years.. all that, plus the drama, I was tired of. So i decided to just forget about it and go with it trying not to worry about them. Since late November & this early December, i've been alright with it, and proud of that. Until I found out something today from Tyone. Here's a post she put up on her blog that she told me to read:
Such a small world we live in. Today Chyna was talking about artists on deviant and I mentioned Tilford. And she said, "Yeah he's my friend.", and I said, "He's my friend too but I think I knew him first." She said no way. I said yes way! *complete valley girl moment* Anyway we went on with that for like 5 mins until she said, "I knew Tilford first because he's sister Kenya's boyfriend!" I was like OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder is it the same dude she was talking about when we went to the movies. I think I told her to leave his sorry ass.
*Note by me (portia):* Long time ago, I think last year, Tyone told me about how her and Chyna went to the movies with her half sister. Tyone thought her name was Ashely all this time. Tyone had said she fell asleep before the credits came on and how that whole day she made it fun because Chyna was being mean. Omg, that was Kenya?! OMG!!! What are the fucking odds, dude?! That's Chyna's sister?!?! I hate that girl! And Chyna is cool. What else is just weird as hell, Tilford was with me and Tyone at the Convention and so was Chyna, but they were never there together. Chyna knows him and he knows her. That is so freaky they never saw each other. But actually, they could of saw each other, but since they didn't know we knew them, they didn't say so, lol. Coincidence. Also, Tyone told me how at the movies that time, Chyna's sister complained about her boyfriend after the movie, Tyone told her to leave him, lol. And she said Chyna told her about him on the phone some times, but what's crazy is, neither of them never mentioned his name. If they did, Tyone would of known long time ago because of me mentioning him! Okay, on with her post.*
Anyway I found it so amazing that Portia doesn't really know Chyna and I do, we go to the same school. And I don't know Kenya well, but her and Portia know each other and they go to the same school! Woah! Just think if I never knew that Tilford existed, this circle wouldn't have been found out. Now it makes me wonder how many people are out there that have connections to people they don't know about. It's so cool.
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Omg, Tyone said Chyna was shocked to find out that Tilford was the guy that I had been having issues with and I was the girl that was giving her sister and her boyfriend more problems! I was like.. wait! Kenya had been talking about me to her then.. I knew I wasn't the only one that knew of that issue. x/ And I see her tomorrow too, both of them! Oh hell.. I don't wanna deal with any drama! Because Chyna knows how I felt about her and she's her sister! Who knows what she told Kenya that she didn't know before! >:|
[edit]
The week when this happened, I realized that Kenya was VERY distant of me. One week after it happened, Kenya stalked me to the class and finally came to me and asked if I knew Tyone and Chyna. We talked about the coincidence for like 10+ minutes, and then again later for 5 minutes at the end of class. That was our only confrontation. We both failed to bring up the fact that Tilford was ruining his relationship but playing around with me. We both failed to mention the hidden hatred we had toward each other. We both excluded the fact that we knew from our friends/ siblings, that we had talked about how we couldn't stand each other. We didn't bring up the fact that we both were heart broken by the same guy, but continued to care for him. And I really think it'll never be brought up. But that fine now.
Ever since we had that talk, we've been able to approach each other now.. we've been able to witness each other's presence and laugh at each other's jokes. One thing, when Tilford and us are all around each other.. there's still a weird vibe. Like he doesn't open up. But since I shouldn't be so close to him anyway, I'm not so worried about it like I was.
Recently, Kenya's been coming up to me and talking to me about random stuff, and I usually do the same thing in response. That gets kind of bland, but her being all bright and smiley when she's waving at me, is the best change :D So it's cool now.. great I don't have to worry about so much Drama anymore ^-^
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