Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Love life updates 2
I'm currently at the end of my 3rd summer semester at GPC and this week is the last week of school/ finals week. I am pulling an all nigher because its the only way I feel I can really complete all this work I have for my math class.
Why is it I always fall for someone in my math classes? Dating back to high school, no, scratch that, 8th grade in middle school, up until now it seems some guy always comes along AT THE END of a math class. What the hell. I feel like God is giving me an additional reason why math will forever suck to me.
Back to this update of my love life; Just yesterday, I initiated some wannabe relationship with my ex boyfriend, twice removed, Theo, ended a wannabe fling with my more recent Hispanic guy interest, Sanchez, and took a long awaited step forward toward a wanna get to know you with my one year crush from school, Sajid; all in the same day. My morning went from upsetting and frustrating to happy and spontaneous, and ended with warmth and comfort. All in the midst of this, my time was being raped by algebra. Like geez, I can't even enjoy or bask in what shit was going on today. ~le sigh.
Anyway, I was and still am pretty distraught over Sanchez, but that shall be another entry. All due to Sajid, nothing else has really crossed my mind. This guy is just so... fucking alluring. To say the least, admitting how smitten I am by him would be an understatement. First of all, he's an absolutely gorgeous human being, with a hipster sense of style. Which only some hipsters turn me on, and they'd have to be full on pulling it off, which he isn't. However, I'm glad he isn't, because if he had a legit, mature sense of style, I'd really be in danger. Like, one of those, oh-shit-my-vagina-slipped-and-fell-on-your-penis accidents. Can't have that shit.
I think my hopeless romanticism is being magnified sevenfold and it sucks because I can't seem to function. Ever sinse I talked with this guy, I haven't been able to stop replaying everything in my head, and can't stop anticipating seeing him again. How easily I fall really pisses me off most times. Plus, I tend to build up this perceived idea of the person I'm into, and it usually gets broken. Plus, I know nothing about the guy to even be into him like that. It's really annoying how guy crazy I've been in the past 2 years.
But I've learned to except it and enjoy it before I can't anymore. To be honest, there's no other feeling like the feeling you get around someone you're into. For instance, how you feel anxious, shaky, and on edge, but at the same time you get this rush of adrenaline that sends butterflies to the pit of your stomach? Or how you light up at the same time you're super uneasy? There's only two other feelings I can relate this too, and it's the same feeling a person gets being on stage, or having a really bad high lol. It sort of sucks, but it's a very distinctive, overtaking, feeling.
Enough of that. Time to bask in more of Sajid's glory until I throw up all over my monitor from nauseating myself too much. So sadly, I regret not spending more time finding out all I could about this guy. We were crunching time doing math work while we spoke, but I still feel like I could of easily got a lot more out of him and made a deeper impression on him as well. The only thing I really got out of him was SUPER basic, and that was him name, which I already knew, and giving him my name; which happens to be the same as his sisters. That was the best Intel, since I feel he has no reason to ever forget me now. Which sucks because I waited until the VERY last class to talk to his kid. I have like two great chances before, but blew them. I get one more chance on the day of the final, but that leads me no where. It doesn't help that his shorter, less hot, intimidating, cock blocking
clone friend gets in the fucking way. His friend seems like he's a very cool, down to earth guy too, when he's not cock blocking like a motherfucker. I noticed today he seems to have his head on his shoulders possibly more than Sajid, and leading him to greatness. Buuuut... he's gotten in my way too much for me to even continue with good judgement -_-
Sigh, I really hope something more could come from seeing him on Thursday though. I don't know how I'll survive not seeing him for a month :( Especially since I don't know if he'll even be here next fall.
