Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas 2011
Christmas Eve I awoke to my menstrual cycle and I was already sick with whatever has been wrong with me.. ehh.. mother nature granting me with her share of lumps of coal? I'm just a tiny bit glad I did come on though, so it won't exactly bother my new years plans.... if those even work out in my favor. Late Christmas morning I had the most pleasant sleep though! Most likely the best present I could receive. Haven't had a warm, deep, comfortable sleep like that one in too long of a time. First dosed off listening to my "relax" mp3 playlist on my phone, containing things like French melodic music, smooth jazz, Asian chants, emotional indie rock, dark orchestra music, and a wider variety of soothing tunes :) Before you know it I was sound asleep and awoke around 8am to a light rainy Christmas morning; first one awake.
The entire week I had not been looking forward to Christmas. If you were to ask me, it didn't even feel like Christmas was nearing. But that very morning for some reason I was hit with warm spirits which I wanted to share with everyone. I knew it was too early to wake my family, so I spent two hours cozy in my warm bed texting nearly everyone and their mother sweet Christmas messages lol. It seems even the people I didn't really favor, stopped talking to, and have had recent problems with I forgave, because I sent them warm honest greetings too. Some rocky relationships with some I payed an apology to and hoped they have been good. All didn't respond with such kind or honest words, but I really didn't mind. I just was deep in the spirit, which is very odd for me, haha, but it made me feel great, spreading positivity and giving to others. This year, my family received more gifts than I, and I was alright with that, because I wanted to give back to them. I'm actually wishing I would of or could of given more, actually. All I really wanted was to have an enjoyable time with them, which I did, but this lasted for a short time.
I was in the middle of having a really nice laugh with my mom after a long period of joking around, talking with her, my aunt and my uncle about old memories. My mother and I are really close, but she's not really interested in things in my personal life at all, so it's seldom we talk about my interests and she's actually into it. She ended up asking about something that had to do with Japanese and we began a very serious talk with my uncle about it. I was enjoying the conversation a lot, so much that I went to show her somethings upstairs, but when I got back, she was talking to my other aunt over the phone so I waited patiently for her to finish. I was really anxious to continue our conversation! But she went off for over an hour or so and I over heard her doing what she normally ends up doing with my aunt... talking shit, about her other sister and myself. Now I'm in a slump and pissed off because I was having a really nice time, and it's Christmas day, but you go off and gossip about me to the person who doesn't even really like me. I had been fine all day and excepting of a lot I normally don't. To remind you, I'm also still sickly and dealing with cramps, and emotional, so that really crushed my spirit. I don't even want to be around her now. And I started thinking in my normal spoiled ways about the presents she gave me this year. Well first off, I turned 21 this year. My birthday, which is suppose to be the most joyous, was the WORST, and she didn't even get me anything for it or sympathized with me. I wasn't expecting anything for Christmas, but the things she did give me reflected her fake disinterest and the more I thought about it, it pissed me off.
I'm into Photography, I have been for a while. But it's not new to me at all, and I'm at a stage where the only thing you can give to me to help me along is a better camera, or a decent editing program. Instead, she gives me a beginners book on taking pictures of people. -_- First off, I already took and passed plus a photography class where I already have two books on photography that are way more advanced than the one she gave me. How could you not know that already.. buying that book is either an insult to me or letting me know you never pay attention to what I do or show you. Next, she gets me a Calendar full of Japanese paintings. Which is nice if it was anything like the style of art I actually like, or I was in need of a calender! I'm a 21 year old, smart phone wielding, intermediate Japanese student. Why would you not get me a nice English to Japanese dictionary, or a nice poster of my favorite Japanese artist, or a cheap CD of a Japanese singer I like or don't know of, or a cheap calligraphy brush for my Kanji I had mentioned all semester, or a Japanese app for my phone, or something Japanese styled I can actually use, since that's what you were going for. What the hell do I want with a calendar? Maybe if you never got me one before that would be a nice novelty of beautiful artwork, but I already have that and this was nothing like the style she already knows I would like. How would you not know that, mom? Pfft. Major fail. But, the messed up thing about that is, I didn't care about that then, because I was more happy that she loved her gifts, and spending a nice time with her before she started conversing with that evil women. Wtf did I do to deserve such harsh words? And why would you even be talking about that today after receiving such wonderful gifts and having such a nice time? Pfft. Don't even get me started on how she insisted on me getting my aunt an expensive gift set of body stuff from her favorite brand. I already knew what my aunt wanted! She isn't interested in crap like that, and I saw it in her dissatisfied face when she opened it! Making me waste my money, that she shit was not cheap! Shes the one that pushed me to get it and wants to talk shit about me always buying things or being a bad daughter or some crap. Now she wants to act like she's so concerned with what's wrong, like I didn't hear you talking shit about me, get the hell out of here. Whatever, I'm done with it.
Having the Christmas spirit was nice while it shortly lasted, and I still hope everyone else had an enjoyable time~
Labels: events, life
