Saturday, March 03, 2007
Not a good start for the year 2007\\ :(
Every year i've had ALWAYS had something incredibly horrible about it.. but every year turned out like that. Never had they started off horrible.
It's only been two months and already, I lost my boyfriend, my heart throb wasn't who I thought he was, my school friends grew apart from me, my grades have went down, I missed the Military ball, my supposedly best friend got pregnant, she's turned into a total bitch, my closes friends are feuding, I can't even talk to one of them without this other girl, i've cried at least 20 times, i'm not getting any healthier, my doctors' are lying to me, my problem isn't getting helped, people at school are starting to notice, everyones just using me, and the only person who'd never do me wrong, and was always by my side, decided to drop out of school.
Two months! This may not be shocking for you or anyone else, but i've never gone through this much at the beginning of a year. Actually none of this all at once period!
It's just not the year I thought it was.
The Military ball was last night..I failed to attend. I'm not in JROTC anymore, but I could have still went. But why am I so worked up? I didn't really want to attend, I just wanted to see everyone. You see, this year the entire school system was joining together to have the ball..so i'd be everyone in every school in APS system in JROTC that would be there. Wow, that's a lot of people!
I wanted to see all my middle school friends and family at the other schools, and especially, I wanted to see Jordan. I wanted him to see me one last time before he moved. I wanted everyone to see me one last time, because after this, we'll be going to college, and who knows if we'll ever see each other?
I know I could always go next year..but this year was the first, and it won't be the same.
I was suppose to go to Ashely's party today, but she left a message on my phone saying everything was postponed. Now I want to go shopping, but I should spend this weekend getting my moms presents, Thursdays her birthday :))
Well..I just wanted to rant..stopping now, nothing else to blog about.
CIAO~
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Spiffyness UNRATED♠
Hi, me again....you know, the girl that said she wasn't gonna post 'till March..but actually broke that by posting a day before March?? Yeah..that's me. lol! :PSo..I had to stop my diet because some bad things have been happening and I couldn't take it..when I get really sad or angry, I drink a lot of strong and sour drinks to even me out, so once I did that, I broke my little torture pact...so, my mom has totally gave up on me. She immediately took me to 'American Deli' to celebrate my weakness..isn't she the greatest mom ever? lol.
Right now i'm taking down my hair..I know i'm not getting any sleep tonight..unless I miss school again..which would suck because Ni MIGHT come..and if she does, which she might, I wouldn't wanna miss her...*sigh* Damn, I wanna sleep now, i'm so tired.. u.u
Ni, she said she wants to drop outta school. And I hate that school has been so hard for her. She doesn't like it, and yesterday she said it was her last day..she hasn't been at school for like a week..but it seems like forever to everyone else, and me also. Seeing her yesterday out of the blue saying, "Today is my last day." almost shot me to tears. u___u I'd hate to see her leave..all this help and work and time we've used, and she wants to just drop out. She's illegal and the school asked for her social security card and other information..so she freaked and said she might as well quit..saying how it's too hard anyway. Tsk. She can't work at her family restaurant all her life! I'm not trying to squirm into anyones life and meddle in it, but what the hell kind of life is that? It's just not right..and if she decides to change her mind after High School, it's gonna be a lot harder to get her G.E.D!
I also can't stand her, "well it can't be helped" mentality. Like how bad it was moving away from Fuzhou and leaving all the those memories and people..landmarks and things you'll just miss seeing and doing. Not here at all in America. But she's always like, 'well whatever, nothing anyone can do', and that's true..but still, doesn't she get home sick? She has to. And if she doesn't, she still has to be angry. Now if she did that to something so big, the thought of how she'll be about leaving here makes me feel like none of it ever mattered. And I guess that is the best way to dwell on someone's heart. I can't ever let memories go like that..like..so what if they happened, oh well..i'd be angry, and trying my best to keep them. But she's showing no effort at all...but maybe I'm thinking too much again.
But today..I cried so bad, I felt horrible. Her uncle came up to the school and withdrew her..it's not yet certain, because they still have to turn in the papers whenever they can..then she'll be out. But I doubt anything will stop that..and I doubt she wouldn't leave anyway. I was with her in the registration office..and went to lunch. I should of went back after lunch, but I had to go to class. I think that'll be the last time she'll be up at school. The last Day of February... school will be so boring without her..and so awkward! I mean, the main reason I ever ate with Ms. James and Ms. Clark, or talked with them was because Ni always went to them..now she's gone, I have no need to visit them, and it's so awkward to just walk away from them or us to have nothing to talk about, I feel so bad! And me and Ni were like go-to partners. So many things we did that will never happen again. Go in Ms. James class for lunch, in the basement auditorium to watch drama, secret meeting rooms, the mall after school, walk all around the neighborhood, to China Town, Korea Town, her restaurant and Lunch in that cute coffee shop..*sigh* I'll never do that again. I remember the first time we went to China Town and had such a wonderful day. Went shopping, tried on all those clothes, shoes..we didn't even buy anything there, but the man was so nice. We kept changing clothes..and all the other people in the store were laughing and clapping at our outfits. It was such a nice time. Then we bought all those souvenirs at the souvenir shop..all those bamboo canes, miniture umbrellas, sword set, key chains, cheap cute jewelery, lol. We wasted all our money on nothing..then headed to the fish place and the market for food. At the fish place, the guys there knew her and gave me an Ayumi poster because she told them I was a big fan, lol. And we went to that Korean store and got kicked out, lol, a video store, another shoe store, and finally went to eat. I forgot the name of the place, but I loved their Vietnamese noodles and black beans. :) Mm..I guess it's good to remember all the good times. It makes me feel better.. but still. School will be so...empty.
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On another note..I updated as you see..since I got like all Ayu's performances at A Best Countdown 2006-2007 :))
I made the banner too! It's from Part Of Me (PV)..I did it in Picture It! 9 and Image Ready♥
[click to enlarge]
I love Ayu in Traditional Japanese clothing..so the video is great. The song is nice but I like all the pretty costumes best, lol. Watch please!
Here's a scan from ViVi showing the making of Part Of Me..also where I got the pictures for the banner. Click to enlarge picture..
I made the banner too! It's from Part Of Me (PV)..I did it in Picture It! 9 and Image Ready♥
[click to enlarge]I love Ayu in Traditional Japanese clothing..so the video is great. The song is nice but I like all the pretty costumes best, lol. Watch please!
Here's a scan from ViVi showing the making of Part Of Me..also where I got the pictures for the banner. Click to enlarge picture..
Labels: ayumi hamasaki, life, updates, videos
