Saturday, March 10, 2012
Finally feeling 21~
I realized just this morning I've been mourning the death of my love life for a long period now, and unlike normal, I haven't just recovered from it. I don't know what it is... I've never felt I wanted someone to be there so badly before, but to tell the truth, it's fucking scary! I've always been the well grounded one, and couldn't understand my friends who were always so needy of someone, always tied to the drama and over-exaggeration of "being with someone", and the splintering grief of parting from that someone. I have experienced plenty of those very situations, but I always knew mine had some sort of expiration date, or that I'd fall out of that phase some way or another. I mean, what am I if nothing BUT a hopeless romantic that day dreams day in and day out about "that person", but I never really took meeting "that person" seriously. I knew the guys I was into weren't eligible. Hell, deep down, I wasn't even hoping for them to be. However, now, I don't know if it's because I'm aging or simply my surroundings are being grouped into couples, but I'm feeling really depressed about not having someone of my own... at all.
Honestly I've been feeling like this for a while.. but I think it's only just now hit me. Because before, I could always keep myself busy with friends, classmates, school, studying, drama, and other bits of life. Those things never failed to occupy my mind from wandering off into a lonely, emo abyss. But now I feel the lifestyle I've become very comfortable and accustomed to, starting to drift away. I can't find myself so easily satisfied with new shiny toys. I want substance! Substance that is a BRAND NEW fork in the road; a job, relying on myself, graduating and attending GSU, traveling, more spontaneous trips, a camera, some REAL photography opportunities, getting my own place, driving, and getting my fucking license!
Ladies and gentlemen, I finally feel 21. I feel new responsibilities are the only thing that can change my life. And I AM at the age to do it. I feel like the damn free spirited Sagittarius my fellow sag sister is always talking about haha x) But I feel like I've been holding back on this person... and I'm feeling the after shock of doing so for so long. I'm feeling the regret of being soooo comfortably wound up in my own little world, just rolling with the punches. Well... that's perfectly fine and all and has pleased me thus far, but at this point, after having time to actually sit down and think, I can't continue on this path much longer. Not because I can't, but because I'm just... tired. I mean the things I want are honestly things I should have already had! So possibly that's another reason I want them more than ever.
Upon walking this new path, I am100% more positive about a great person coming along. So I'll try not to let it bring me down. Instead, I will really work to achieve these goals, and await meeting "this someone". :) At the end of the day, I know for a fact I will be happy acquiring any one of these things, so I WILL be alright~ ♥
Friday, January 13, 2012
Girls I do Adore/ Mother Dearest
For a long while now, especially after I got more involved with Sanchez and more around guys wanting to be involved with me at school, I know I really wanted to be with a guy, but guys keep fucking disappointing me and letting me down.. or there's always my own excuse like not having enough time for them, but recently I've been paying attention to every girl I could see myself with or just oddly attractive chick >_> Like random cute girls on campus or on the bus home and to campus. There was this one really pretty chick on the bus while I was on the way home, she wasn't girly at all actually. She could pass for a stud maybe, a stem definitely, had the healthiest and prettiest face and skin! And her Facial piercings and locks were really cute on her. I kept imagining her in a rock style, lol, because she seems like that kind of girl. I like femmes but I wouldn't mind a girl like that at all as I'm internally just like that~ or secretly want to be. Anyway, the biggest reason I find this recent fixation an issue is because I know there's a big possibility I'm going to Japan this summer. And while I KNOW I'm going to be tripping all over the hot guys, it somehow slipped my mind that I'm into Asian, of not mainly Japanese girls -.- Siiigh~ none of the people I'm traveling with are comfortable with that, they're hardly comfortable with me going off with a guy. But not being able to openly enjoy the women seems to be the biggest joy kill to me about this trip, seriously. I mean, If I were going with people more into the things I were or share a similar state of mind as I, we could take my mind off of it easily and spend our time enjoying other things, but they aren't T__T I just don't know what I'm going to do. My only attempt to salavge this is acting as my professional self, being a photographer, and just attempt to shoot with all the hotties, including the guys ahaha~ I know being separated from the group in Japan where it works in my favor is a huge none realistic plead, but that happening at least once when It really needs to, would be great lord. x/
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My mother has never been an overly nosy mother like some of my friends or mothers are portrayed on TV. There's a lot of things she may know and just ignore, most likely, but then again I think there's a lot she totally in denial or unaware of. I realized during my entire 21 years of life, I've always lived around her completely open and had to wait until she was away or not around to do any different. In other words, my lame internet life or personality around my friends, everything was open to her as long as it was appropriate. So unappropriated things were always hidden. But what I just now realized is, somethings shouldn't even have been so open to her. Like during my 21 years in this world, my room was always open, door never closed. But that's not fair.. I should be able to shut out people if I want. All day yesterday evening I was minding my own business in my bed spending hours day dreaming and fantasizing like I usually do. But I haven't done this in a while, so I really felt like doing so. I could not engage in my thoughts because it seemed every 10 fucking minutes my mother would be coming upstairs bothering the hell out of me. Okay.. damn, I know my life at home only consists of the computer and all, but who the hell is she to be wondering what else I'm doing. Leave me the hell alone. At first I thought she was coming upstairs to get something for herself, but the last 4 times she quietly came up the stairs to see what I was doing, always asking me, "Are you texting?? What are you doing up here??" All four times. -___- WTF WOMAN. And today I go upstairs leaving the computer with nothing on it, and she suspiciously asks me, "Are you going to bed?" Like the ONLY thing I could be doing upstairs for a long period of time is sleeping.. -.- siiiigh!
Well first of all... what kills me is, do you REALLY want to know what I am or could be doing? No way, I know she doesn't.. so why the hell are you questioning me instead of assuming it's something dirty and leaving me alone?! lool. Seriously. I mean, are you that oblivious or are you just a cock blocker? I think a cock blocker.. because there's been various time through out the years of me being upstairs and she calls me for something random to do, as if she's mad I left her alone or doesn't want me to have healthy "me time". But I've recently realized she's out of her place doing shit like that, and how I shouldn't have to provide her with some excuse or lie as to why I'm minding MY business on my own.
I never thought about closing the door to my room before, mainly because she would become even more suspicious thinking something bad was going on behind the door, then interrupt even more or questions me even more; however, the more I think about it, WHO CARES. Because at the end of the day, it's annoying for me to continue giving explanations for normal shit, or looking over my shoulder every 5 seconds, or making sure my ears are hawk sharp listening out for any sneaking people! If I wanna be in my room, I can. That's my only place of privacy, so why do I need a reason to want privacy? Pffffft. I'm over that shit. I'm 21 years old now, and these people wonder why I need my own place or why I'm always going out doing things with people. I'm ALWAYS home, and never get privacy to do the things I want here, what do you think!?
First week of Spring Sememster
My classes/ teachers, people, new relationships, old relationships, ppl leaving this semester, my fashion, etc.
Labels: school
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Biggest disappointment + friends
Talk about Korean class and final drama, talk about new info from today and what will happen and my conclusions to what i wanna do with the class.. talk about Gio. Talk about tae and quesa yesterday's drama and what i think of them.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Nori Nori, Ice Skating, and expenses?!
Talk about today's fun~ talk about dentist and money and trip I wanna do over the summer :/
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Finals; Bye bye Fall Semester
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Finals and Heartbreaks :/
korean final
meeting on saturday
what happened preparring for japanese final
ppl ditching me; feeling hated; losing relationships
Monday, December 05, 2011
21st Birthday
Luxe lounge
Jiyeon's camera
getting abandoned 3 times
not called by/ contacted by...
Friday, October 16, 2009
My College Days~
It's already been 3 weeks going on 4 since i've started school. I feel kind of pathetic now that I think aboout it.. I go to school only 4 days a week, and only have 3 classes, one on each day minus the day I have two.. then a three day weekend and a afternoon class everymonday which means sunday can be treated like a weekday too instead of that "day before school/work" day that you never really enjoy... that's pretty great right?! But still I'm cluttered with work.. and here I thought I was going to have an easy weekend.. ugh. I just wanted to relax and seriously have a nice peaceful study session, before and after enjoying this coming Halloween parade/ festival.. but NOOOO.. my damn damn Photography teacher had to throw an over the weekend quiz at me, along with one long as chapter to read, 45 shots to take, NONE of people btw, 4 annoying illustration assignments, 50 vocab terms, and a huge sketch of a town including a lot of stupid things that we have to later create on illustrator.. all that along with studying, math included, and having my first priority to be getting my braids out because of my hair appointment later today. It's not easy rushing to turn in papers and taking down your hair, as it won't be later today, finishing it, washing it, and studying at the same time. I actually have just the right amount of time to do all this work. I have Friday afternoon to take a few shots, the evening and night to do like 2 assignments and quick study, I'll use the festival for most of the pictures, and the long train and bus rides for more study. I have the rest of the day to do my pictures, and sunday to finish up. So what's bad? Hardly any resting.. Maybe like that morning Monday.. ugh.. I really just can't wait to have those 2 hours of fun time tomorrow at the festival.. only if I can stay longer.. I really want to get this Henna tattoo, that's my ultimate goal, lol.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Pre-Halloween Fun + extra
About this picture, I did it at the start of October, donning my interest in October only as a advanced plan to have a blast on Halloween.. especially since I missed the Fall's anime con D:That plan was faulted not so long ago though.. as the Halloween festival at Little Five Points I THOUGHT was on Halloween.. isn't.... it's this weekend instead actually.. x/ So.. since Halloween there is event less, I thought it'd be nice if I could go to a Halloween party.. two people I know are planning one, but I have no idea if it'll actually happen.. if not, a haunted house would be just as splendid.. but it's much more difficult than it sounds.
But one of my new friends, Ashlee, told me about this Noraebang (Korean karaoke) restaurant in Duluth.. it's a bit away, but we can get there. It's also in an Asian Plaza a bit like the Super-H Mart~Ohh, that's all you have to say.. and it's good to me. ^^ So we have plans to do that on the 31st, BUT that's the morning plans.. I really want to do the party/haunted house that night. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, no, that outfit is not what i'm wearing..what i'm wearing is a lot better.. a more rock concert type attire, including fake blood :3
◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘I started school two weeks ago~
I know I said I was suppose to start in the Winter but I was talked into going to another school so by the time I start the other one, i'll be a bit ahead. Right now i'm taking up photography and computer graphics (InDesign, Photoshop, Illustrator, etc.) along with a basic math class so I can get on board with college math x/ My schedule is pretty good.. though it still bite me in the ass. I only have class 4 times a week, mon-thurs, and two classes Thursday. The rest of the days I only have one class. Now some people would find that great but I find it slow and useless.. like I have to wake up to one class a day? Get pretty and clothed for one class, lasting not even 3 hours?? UGH. And Thursday's class is my favorite because it's two classes I enjoy, BUT it's the worse because I have to come to school an hour early and there's absolutely nothing to do here.. all my friends here ride the bus meaning they won't be here earlier than the class, and all the computers in the labs are always vacant. THEN I have a 90 min break in between my classes.. might I remind you, there's nothing to do here, but be bored with friends.. no where to go, no boys to talk to.. I need to invest in a new book.. I think I have more fun sitting in a car riding to another state. -__- And about my single class math classes, the room's always 40 degrees... I have very low circulation, I'm dying in there.. and it WOULD have to be math, a place I don't want to be in the first place, tsk. I mean my Photography teacher said we will be outside and taking trips places doing assignments most of the time.. might i remind you of the season: It's nearing Winter.. meaning i'll be seriously freezing even with winter clothes, but I endure it because it's what I enjoy doing. Although, this math is a total different story.
Labels: life, poine's pictures, school
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Karaoke ♥
Lol.. random titles. Um.. yesterday I went and retook my drivers exam and passed, so I was rewarded with my temp license, YAY~ ♥ Now it's legal for me to learn how to operated the damn thing.. a car that is. lol.
Um.. my last post.. i mentioned doing a photoshoot soon.. in 3 days? And today I was suppose to clean and fix some stuff up for the shoot, but my friend came over with her baby and we were occupied for hours.. I'm too tired to do anything now. I'm so stressing now how much i'll be doing tomorrow and early Tuesday (day of photoshoot). I just know everybody isn't ready.. I hate rushing and crunch time.. it's sooo so stressful. *sigh*
Um.. another friend came over and he brought a photo album of pictures I never knew he had. I got a chance to copy some but not all of them because he had to go.
It's funny because I have a lot more prom, end of school and field day pictures, but it seem the ones others took were ways better and more meaningful. I'll really miss my high school days, not too much, but I won't forget them. ♥
That's why I hope this Premiere Party will be nice. There's a club party inviting all '09 graduates from different schools to party it up for High School one last time before we go off to college. I want things to end good there, knowing half of these people, I won't see again... so I hope it turns out good, because I know the end of the school year didn't end perfectly enough.
Anyway, it seems right around these last days of summer I only can relax by listening to good music, updating myself with kpop media, and looking at very awesome clothes. A person I follow on DeviantArt has started a tumblr blog where she shoots some people she sees with very interesting or nice clothing. That, along with her other personal fashion blog sites are just love. It's my new ventilation.. because I love to see interesting things done with clothes.. plus.. I just love clothes period, lol.
Here's the sites of her's I follow: http://triciawillgoplaces.tumblr.com/ and http://chictopia.com/slumberdoll/
Labels: fashion, poine's pictures, school
Friday, July 24, 2009
Noraebang ♥
The title.. it's so random. Lol. It's all I feel like doing though. That word.. it's Korean word for Karaoke.. but i'm contemplating on which one sounds cooler... Karaoke.. it's so common, it's no longer a Japanese word.. so I'll start calling it Noraebang? hahaha. Wow.. so much then so little has happened to me since the last time I wrote here. Um.. college.. it starts August 17th? Wow. My summer was a lot of wasted time.. it went by in a flash.
So. To as far as I wanna date back.. the beginning of July.. the 4th. Took some pretty great and epic pictures of some local fireworks I wanted hours to see. I'll just post some, and if you're interested, in which I hope you are, to see the rest, check my DeviantArt gallery please.
Speaking of photography.. I've been planning a photo shoot.. a girls night out theme.. for fun. I always wanted to do a shoot with more people but never got a chance. Gonna start small and only use 4 people.. but that's a start. Planned a lot.. put a lot into this. So I really hope it works out. I plan on doing all this this Tuesday.. so I should have at least some stuff up by the week after. I'll put all the details and story and background into the final finished photos and post it up here whenever that's all done.
Um.. today I self taught myself how to arch eyebrows because i'm tired of wasting money I don't have... so yea, bought my own damn razor and looked at some tips.. think I did pretty good. So good, I went out and took my drivers test (questions) just to get my picture (the one on the permit). In which I failed.. LOL. And now I have to wake up early tomorrow and drive a long way to do the part I failed over. Pfft. How awesome am I?
Oh, so I camwhored in the dressing room mirror to celebrate my failure.
Um, loving 2PM more than ever.. and more music. Music is so great... so are hot guys.. funny stupid dorky guys who happen to be sexy. I guess that's why 2PM are such hot commodities. ♥ I have no experience with them though. I honestly have like zero game.. and no nothing about flirting. I'm starting not to care though. After you go through a relationship gone bad and drama for so long, you stop caring about what guys think about you. So yea... that's about where I am. I'm gonna laugh at how much of a dumb ass I make of myself. Why not? Nothing to lose. I think I rather have fun being a complete failure and learning from it than trying too hard and not succeeding AND being uncomfortable.
Ugh, did i mention I am in the middle of rebelling against like everyone? lol. really. People have been bothering me more lately that usual. Maybe i'm so tense because i'm doing into college soon.. August 17th. I can't believe how quick it all came.
Labels: art, asian, events, fireworks, life, music, poine's pictures, school
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
High School END
I graduated May 23rd :D Yay.. whoopie and all that shabang. Well.. I didn't get into the college I had been finally wanting to go to.. GA St te, so.. I had planned to go to Georgia Perimeter.. which is a two year school. The whole point in going there is basically to get a good start in. I didn't get accepted to GA State because my test score for the graduation test didn't meet the limit.. missed it by 20.. -_- Yeah yeah.. don't really think those tests are accurate messures of your skills anyway, so who cares. The good thing is, this two year school doesn't require the tests, you just have to have a good enough GPA from school, and that I have. Plus, you can transfer to whatever school you want from there. And since they have Japanese classes there, and it's cheaper and easier, it's like it's like i'm getting a crash course of college like before going to university :3 The only thing now, I have to send them my final transcript so they can let me know i'm admitted in before it's too late :/
Anyway, small update on prom (since i do not want to get into it): failed to do after party plans, but did have my own little party x3 Okay.. rode in a limo with my friends.. had a blast. Just to inform you, me and my date didn't really know each other, me and him (brian) had only knew each other prior because he recently started doing our yard work. Yep.. perfect lifetime story, took the hot yard boy to prom. LOL. Seriously. But we were w ell aquainted before and got a long great, plus it was so last minute since my bitchass ex-boyfriend, turned around and switched dates like 2 weeks before prom. -_- That's okay.. yard boy back up xD
Anyway, the only thing that sorta messed up my prom was, Brian was NOT a dancer. A slow dancer..okay, but when the shake your booty songs came on, which was most of the time, he was not with it :/ Now.. i'm not such a dancer myself, but sheesh, I do know how to follow the beat, and I do know how to move! And it was so awkward leaving him.. ugh.. i should of just went to the dance floor alone.. that way I could of got someone to dance with. Kinda messed up you wanna dance, but your date, who can't dance, won't leave your side, that way, no one else will but in. D:
Anyway.. tell me why, toward the end of the night while voting for prom king & queen, I saw MY name for prom queen. I was like going down the list.. "mmm.. jasmine.. mm natalie.. mm portia... mm.. PORTIA?! O~O wtf?!!?!?!?!?!" Lol.. so naturally, I voted myself and started campaigning late as hell. I mean, if I KNEW i was nominated for prom queen, I would of definately used my salesmen skills and OWNED them. lol. Um.. random.. prom food was gooood :3 They had skewers and shiskabobs, and shrimp baby cakes and chicken, and sweet meatballs and salas and this huge delicious fruit bowl. They even had the home made ghetto punch where you can totally spike it with alchohol x3
So.. after they called the prom queen nominees out and I lost like I knew I would, we left cause we had to turn in the limo, lol. Um.. we went to Waffle House and Brian made up for his lack of feel for music by buying me LOTS of yummy food and feeding it to me like a pretty guy in a romance comedy :D My friends were eating it up.. i thought it was cute and funny. DAMN that food was good.. but also, we saw some guys that graduated from our school last year that we hated (except one hot guy i use to crush on) that kept sexually harassing us. It was funny at first because they seemed so desperate, but it got a bit annoying when they started grabbing at us. I was starting to punch the shit out of one of them. Then it rained so we rushed out, dropped in on an after party, then dropped people off, then went back to my best gay friend's house and chilled watch an old movie. Then I fell asleep on top of my date on the couch. I wonder why he didn't bother waking me up.. -_- Oh yea.. he was liking it!! lol.. we flirted and stuff but then it was like 5 am, so he took me home and stayed over for a drink and headed out. All in all, it was a good night. Oh.. did I say I was going to keep this small? Mm.. got carried away x/
SO! Moving on the last week of school: Graduation practice was crucial!! Soooooo annoying and a lot of waste of time. Mostly because I had to sing in front of a grumpy, rude, chilish, senior class at 9 in the morning for a week, and practise everything else for like 6 hours.
Other things that week including the senior picnic, senior recognition day, and yearbook signing. Those pictures are down below, enough talking x3
Labels: events, life, poine's pictures, school
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Let's play catch up
Soooo.. it's a week before prom and i'm semi-ready.. it's all very stressful.. I really don't want to do things like they're planned but.. kinda don't have a choice.
So my prom date.. his name is Brian.. and he goes to the college my aunt works at. She knows his father and now Brian does our yard work. He's not someone i'd regularly fall for in looks, but he is cute :) handsome and charming, lol. Who knew those still existed? The problem with him though is, he's like.. a genius.. literally. Okay.. so why is that a problem right? Well.. Brian's 19 and already a pilot.. he's working in school to get a certain licence but he has legal right to fly.. kind of like a permit, lol. He has his own lawn business, buying his own tools, has his own car, knows about plumbing, electric wiring and all about problem solving. Great with like all core school subjects, stays on top of the news and he's VERY logical. Only a year older than I. That puts me and him in two whole different levels. I can't help but feel lowly when talking to him. lol. Maybe that's stupid.. but, I feel out of place. Now I feel like everything I do has to be good enough for his standards.. because they're way above mine :/ But the good thing through all this is, he's sweet to me, and takes making me determined serious.. even though he doesn't know how I feel about him.. i'm glad he's like that because it does push me to work harder.. so looking at this positively.. maybe it's a great thing to have him around. I think I finally understand what people mean when they say surround yourself around winners, not losers. Winners can only push you forward, but losers hold you back and make you like them. I know, when I get to college, I will surround myself around more great people, even if they end up stuck up and snobbish, because it will only boost my self esteem and will power to do better than them :) I wish I'd learned this sooner, maybe then my scores would be better. x/
Anyway, moving on, me and Brian are going together to pick out his stuff for prom sometime this week. I hope that doesn't turn out awkward.. because we still are getting to know each other so.. you know how that goes, lol.
Um, the rest my life. So, for about 3 weeks, i've been talking to my father. I haven't talked to him in like 4 years. He decided to come back in my life, and recently i've put him on hold. Maybe that's not good, especially since he's not well and been SO pathetic and loving.. but.. he can't just expect me to talk to him when I have things to do. I'm busy getting ready to graduate.. and prom is coming.. the two most busiest times of high school! So oh well.. I don't feel like adding another burden right now.
Into the lovely things! I think starting during spring break, I started watching two new animes, Ouran High School Host Club and Soul Eater (finally after being bothered into watching it by Jordan x3). I'm nearly done with both now, and started re-watching Blue Gender, because I always wanted to finish that show. Anyway, back to the new shows. Both of these touched me! I've heard there will be a season 2 of Soul Eater, so I can't wait. But I know these are ones I can re-watch and I love animes like that :'D
As for things I love, I love learning about new artists and hearing new music too! I think i'm getting more into Big Bang and other male groups.. hopefully, because it's seldom I listen to male artists. But anyway, I'm liking TOP and G-dragon from Big Bang, lol. Okay, TOP more, I just think G-d's a cutie x3. But I always thought TOP was cool, his voice is hot and not all feminine like, but that was when I wasn't so familiar with big bang. But there's this new song by them with this new girl group called 2NE1 and TOP is just the sex in it xD *fangirls* and G-d is just a cutie pie who gets even cuter when he tries to be hard and sexy but fails because he's so adorable... :'D
Lastly, just this morning I discovered another k-pop group!! Well, they're so new they haven't really debuted and you can't find too much into anywhere yet, but they're called T-Ara.
There's some antis all over them already because they've made a music video that's JUST like another group, and they don't have their own style. :/ Their style looks just like SNSD or somebody, then it's 5 of them, geez, we already have millions of k-pop girl groups popping up everywhere. Knowing that, I can understand why people aren't giving them a chance, plus since their company isn't original enough to come up with a different unique look for them, they look like plain-jane posers, and who wants a group that looks just like another one? I admit learning all this turned me off and makde me want to just ignore them, until..... I listened to their song. O_O Omfg, those chicks can blow. They have seriously beautiful voices. Every single one, different, awesome. And the funny thing is, people are complaing about them stealing looks from popular groups, those we know most in the group struggle with singing, can't sing, or all just WAY better than the rest. In other words, T-Ara, if SNSD never existed, Wonder Girls and other artists would have big competition, seriously. No offense because I love my JYP babies, but we all know their voices aren't all perfect and have been a couple of problems.. despite them always looking stylish. I think I prefer a group of plain-jane power houses, than some stylish pretty good, just getting by group. Plus, it's something about them that seems more genuine. Another thing.. I just mentioned a new group that did that song with Big Bang, 2NE1? They're new too. A lot of people complained about T-Ara debuting with a ballad, saying new people should come out with upbeat fast songs or else no one will care for them. The debut song by 2NE1 coming out soon is called Fire and it's such nothing compared to T-Ara's.. it's a dance song, with a sorta reggae feel.. kinda.. which is cool, because It's "okay". It's one of those typical songs that you only like after hearing it so much... *yawn*. I say whatever, the ballad is beautiful and frankly chosing to do that instead is about the only right thing they've done debuting, not completely following the crowd starting off with some cheap song. I'm tired of upbeat songs.. they're so many new ones out, so why not have something to chill everything down? So.. in saying that, I look forward to T-Ara. Thief's, posers, plain-jane's or not. They have potential and I'd like to see more of it :)
There's some antis all over them already because they've made a music video that's JUST like another group, and they don't have their own style. :/ Their style looks just like SNSD or somebody, then it's 5 of them, geez, we already have millions of k-pop girl groups popping up everywhere. Knowing that, I can understand why people aren't giving them a chance, plus since their company isn't original enough to come up with a different unique look for them, they look like plain-jane posers, and who wants a group that looks just like another one? I admit learning all this turned me off and makde me want to just ignore them, until..... I listened to their song. O_O Omfg, those chicks can blow. They have seriously beautiful voices. Every single one, different, awesome. And the funny thing is, people are complaing about them stealing looks from popular groups, those we know most in the group struggle with singing, can't sing, or all just WAY better than the rest. In other words, T-Ara, if SNSD never existed, Wonder Girls and other artists would have big competition, seriously. No offense because I love my JYP babies, but we all know their voices aren't all perfect and have been a couple of problems.. despite them always looking stylish. I think I prefer a group of plain-jane power houses, than some stylish pretty good, just getting by group. Plus, it's something about them that seems more genuine. Another thing.. I just mentioned a new group that did that song with Big Bang, 2NE1? They're new too. A lot of people complained about T-Ara debuting with a ballad, saying new people should come out with upbeat fast songs or else no one will care for them. The debut song by 2NE1 coming out soon is called Fire and it's such nothing compared to T-Ara's.. it's a dance song, with a sorta reggae feel.. kinda.. which is cool, because It's "okay". It's one of those typical songs that you only like after hearing it so much... *yawn*. I say whatever, the ballad is beautiful and frankly chosing to do that instead is about the only right thing they've done debuting, not completely following the crowd starting off with some cheap song. I'm tired of upbeat songs.. they're so many new ones out, so why not have something to chill everything down? So.. in saying that, I look forward to T-Ara. Thief's, posers, plain-jane's or not. They have potential and I'd like to see more of it :)
Labels: 2ne1, anime, asian, big bang, life, school, T-Ara
Monday, April 06, 2009
So it's Spring Now
I guess it seems i've been away a long while, but in that time i've actually had entries building up in the drafts. I haven't been thinking about blogging, but now that I'm doing it, i'm feeling quite happy.
Um, Spring Break is here and I've already been to the beach. I just got back from Jerkyll Island, Georgia on Saturday and I guess I had fun. It was a school field trip for a club competition. The people went because they won 1st - 3rd at the regional competition in February. I won 1st and regions, so I went to state. I won 5th at state. Now that my sound bad, but at state, the winners from ALL the regions compete, and it was students from 27 different county schools. That's A LOT, and I placed 5th out of 6th? That's pretty awesome, I say. This happened to be my 2nd beach trip, and this time I didn't get sun burnt, yay~ Just wanted to put that out there, lol.
Every competition and officer training we have a dance, so we headed to another resort to shop and I got a cute dress and necklace for the dance. I can't wait to get the rest of the pictures from everyone else camera. But anyway, here are my pictures in my new fav dress :3
Pic 1: My roomate let me borrow her red headband, and yay, i had my red bra :D
The necklace is actually 2 in 1, silver chain with pearls and a rope with a glass heart with zebra print! Yay, i love zebra print now-a-days~ Oh, cute little frillyness on the strap part of the dress.
Pic 2: At the dance. It was wack, but I looked nice along with others, so I didn't hate it.. even though it looks like I loved it with that smile on my face... i can't explain why I was so happy looking when I wasn't.. lol.
Pic 3: So by now you're totally in love with my shoes right? lol. I am too. still. And that purse goes GREAT with them! It's a awesome bag, but it's also my roomates :/
Anyway, me and my earned place at State Competition :D
At our hotel, the beach was 2 minutes away right in back. ^^ It was beautiful except the day we got there, it rained, but the rest of the days were nice. Sadly I didn't get enough pictures of the beautiful resort, but I'll just show the ones I did.
-to be updated- April 25th :)
Labels: events, life, poine's pictures, school
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Stubborn One
I question myself more than others question this particular moral.
I'm known by my longer or closer friends that I'll put myself through quite a large amount of unfair treatment by another person I care for to make their life easier. In no regards to how much it's wrong to me, I have no selfish intentions when making them happier. I'll try and try and try, and continue to until they realize what they need to.
It's a very stressful and sad value. I think it's nothing but being stupid and stubborn. People don't understand why I do it, for I don't truly understand why I do it. I just know I'll do everything in my power to better someone. I've been in about 5 different situations with 5 different people I was close to, where I hurt myself mentally trying to better them.
Three were close friends, one was just a friend, and one was a boyfriend. Most recently was my ex boyfriend. Well, while we dated I was like that a lot. I don't know, I think I have some sort of belief that if people just talk things out and see things from different perspectives like I do and learn to do things for the better and respect the other person, they'll learn that the negative energy they put out is basically pointless and shouldn't even happen so often. While I say this so easily, this is not wisely done. It's actually more stressful thinking in someone else's shoes, because you never truly know a person. You may have no earthly idea what they take "seriously" or what they think is important and not. People have different logic and other morals, so it's very difficult talking over a problem. Especially when angry.
I've had 3 of my closes friends mistreat me VERY badly. Like.. in ways where a normal person who have dropped them way back and wouldn't of thought twice about it. But me.. I've been told I think too much. And indeed I do. I think about why they did what they did, which leads me questioning things and wanting answers, and then giving scenarios on how things could have been. Hm... explaining it like that, I feel pretty pathetic and run over. And now that I think about it, it's not like I actually maintained a great relationship with any of these people. I failed. It really hurts me when I tried so hard and see it makes no difference to them. I guess I'm pretty dumb. I don't know how to let things go. Always trying to find a better solution instead of just giving up. Why? Not like these people are that important. There's no way in hell they care about me as much as I care for them. And I know this.. so why the hell do I continue to be nice to them? Why do I continue to care and worry about them? Why do I let them over look MY feelings, overlook my hard work and appreciation? Why doesn't this anger me? How can I have the patience and strength to worry about someone else's well-being before myself? Can a person really be too nice for their own good, or rather that idiotic?!
I honestly hate this quality of mine. I wish I were cold hearted. Then I wouldn't cry so much... then I could relax a little and worry about me. I hate it. I hate love. For I never recieve as much as I dish out.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I'm mad
Soooo... I pretty much want to go home and cry right now... just cry and break things and take my anger out on ALL the stupid people that piss me off and got something to say.
I'm mad I woke up before my alarm, cut it off, and woke up late. -__-
I'm mad I didn't get to eat this morning.
I'm mad I was dreaming about you while I was sleeping....
I'm mad I actually believe you're the MOST to blame for keeping me from where I was suppose to be.
I'm mad I now have no control over thinking of you...
I'm mad these stupid braids are so annoying, painful and stiff. I'm mad they're STILL not ready yet and I didn't think to cut them shorter before hand.
I'm mad it took A LOT of time to get ready and it was basically a waste.
I'm mad I could of caught the bus but then it left.
I'm mad I can't convey my feelings to you without losing in some kind of way.
I'm mad it's not easy ignoring how I feel.
I'm mad that theif always compliments me... kissing my butt won't make me forget nor will it make me think differently, so stop wasting your breathe!
I'm mad i'm realizing how heartless and evil you can be...
I'm mad the great group picture we took today got deleted because of one person's opinion... that wasn't fair and I hate when what that person says is final.. who are they? Nobody. A person who needs an attitude check.
I'm mad I keep getting left out of stuff and no one informs me and puts me around their schedule.. um.. i'm gonna stop trying to fit.. I have my own stuff. If I get informed late, forget it. I don't have time chasing nobody.
I'm mad how we have some weird things going on recently... it's messed up.
I'm mad how we aren't even "friends", but we still talk and hang out and flirt and kid around, but you always disown me to the public. I don't say we're not friends, but it's all good classmate.
I'm mad I woke up before my alarm, cut it off, and woke up late. -__-
I'm mad I didn't get to eat this morning.
I'm mad I was dreaming about you while I was sleeping....
I'm mad I actually believe you're the MOST to blame for keeping me from where I was suppose to be.
I'm mad I now have no control over thinking of you...
I'm mad these stupid braids are so annoying, painful and stiff. I'm mad they're STILL not ready yet and I didn't think to cut them shorter before hand.
I'm mad it took A LOT of time to get ready and it was basically a waste.
I'm mad I could of caught the bus but then it left.
I'm mad I can't convey my feelings to you without losing in some kind of way.
I'm mad it's not easy ignoring how I feel.
I'm mad that theif always compliments me... kissing my butt won't make me forget nor will it make me think differently, so stop wasting your breathe!
I'm mad i'm realizing how heartless and evil you can be...
I'm mad the great group picture we took today got deleted because of one person's opinion... that wasn't fair and I hate when what that person says is final.. who are they? Nobody. A person who needs an attitude check.
I'm mad I keep getting left out of stuff and no one informs me and puts me around their schedule.. um.. i'm gonna stop trying to fit.. I have my own stuff. If I get informed late, forget it. I don't have time chasing nobody.
I'm mad how we have some weird things going on recently... it's messed up.
I'm mad how we aren't even "friends", but we still talk and hang out and flirt and kid around, but you always disown me to the public. I don't say we're not friends, but it's all good classmate.
Labels: school
Saturday, February 07, 2009
First week♥
Monday- Didn't go to school... chilled..
Tuesday- Um.. I don't even remember this day. I just know I turned in my Physics project, lol.
Wednesday- Okay!! Highlight day for several reasons.. One big reason. So, the final vote for superlatives was in homeroom! That's were in the yearbook you have best dressed, most trady, most likely to succeed, etc. So, how about I got nomiated the week before for most creative, most unique and most talented?? :D Homgosh, great news x3 So this day I found out I was voted more for Most Talented. Mmm.. I was happy, but honestly I was hoping for most Unique, cause that would mean people set me aside from others, which is like, duh, and about time i'm completely recognized for it, and OMG in the yearbook, which is.. forever! But damn.. I don't really care for people to remember me as talented :( Yea, I write awesome poetry, write brilliant songs, my singing isn't run-of-the-mill and it's pretty decent, but geez, the girl i'm up against, Kiki? Okay.. she's this girl that's focused on music. That's no way fair, right? She's a bit better than me because she had vocal experience on 'how to sing' and i'm just 'belter on the back porch'. Plus, I don't want to be a singer. I honestly get tired of singing. She loves it. Plus she can perform way better than me, she'd steal a stage. She has experience. So in all honesty, I'd rather have her win it because it's more important to her and she fits the part.
But wait, there's this huge disadvantage for me. It's not fair because I've been at this school all four years, she's hasn't even been here a full school year and she just comes in and steals my spot?! So what if she's more passionate? She has no right to be given a spot in superlatives! Plus, she was voted for Most Likely to be Famous too! So that would be definitely unfair if she won that and mine! People should just give the 2nd one to her since she's trying to be a singer.. and give me the talented one. I'd be pissed off if it didn't happen that way. But for some reason, it just seems she's gonna win it all. UGH.. what the hell. I rather get voted for Unique and lose than lose to Talented.. -_- it's kinda frustrating..
Moving on.. so J got voted Creative and Unique male, lol. Damn.. and ran against BL. Wow.. what a hard vote.. so no story about that, it's what happened afterwards.. so I went and told J I honestly didn't know who to vote for.. I was eating a Valentines sucker at the time.. so he said, just tell me you voted for me, right? And I was like.. uhhh... so he took the sucker out my mouth and put it in his!! o_o At that time, Ling ling was there with us, so... I couldn't react how I wanted, especially since her eyes turned to me the second it happened.. it was awkward.. I kinda stalled and we all stood for a good 30 seconds. He was just sucking away and smiling directly at me the entire time, ling ling was still staring at me and glancing at him in between waiting on some sort of reaction, and I was just starring at them both looking confused, until I was finally like.. "Omg you suck..", bad choice of words, he said right after, "I know, your lolipop is in my mouth." O_O That's when ling ling was like.. okay, you're officially disgusting and walked away. I snatched my sucker and cleaned it in the fountain and ate it. Ugh.... why did she have to be around?! xO Do you know how things would of been with no one in our pressence?! How would you like it if the guy you think you're currently crushing on takes candy out of your mouth and eats it?! Then makes such a suggestive gesture like that?! Ugh.. my brain melted for those seconds and I couldn't even enjoy it.. -_____-
So the MORE awkward thing was, my ex, which is J's best friend btw, came out of no where. He saw me earlier with a sucker then later saw one in J's mouth, so he asked where we got it from. And J was like, oh this is hers, I got it from her.. o_o I freaked out.. lol. But my ex thought it meant I had suckers, so he asked for some, and I lied and said, um.. I only had two, J nudged me when I said that. A bit later, I forgot what was mentioned but I stupidly asked J if he thought the sucker tasted like mango, he said he thought it was lemon but then my ex was like, how would you know, you had a different sucker, but J replied, I would know, I licked her lolipop. *sigh* Oh God.. he said it loud... and EVERYBODY knows the song Lolipop by Lil Wayne.. so gosh, even outside of the song, that sounds sexual. My ex looked at him in a confused way and saw me basically looking guilty.. for what, idk.. it's not like I did anything.. but secretly enjoy it.. x/ But it made it awkaward because my ex and everybody already thinks J and I have something going on... omg, he had to say that around both parties.. xO So my ex only says, I knew it! J was like, what?! No way man.. what?! No.. we're just friends... cool, that's all.. that's not true! Right Portia? I guess me standing there looking away from them and not responding didn't help convince anyone. Geez.. i'm dumb. J was still trying to make excuses and I just walked out to my class. T-T
Um.. later this day, I was texting J about something and ling ling texted me, so i told him I was texting her and we both decided to play a trick on her. We started bad mouthing each other and now she thinks we dislike each other and want to fight. Lol.. we both forgot to mention we were playing so now this thing gets more serious.. lol. I just hope by now she won't be so mad we lied and made her worry..
Ironicly, my ex and I talked A LOT on the phone after that. Towards the end of our conversation we started talking like we still dated then realized it was wrong.. lets just say it was kinda sad.. cause we basically admitted we still wanted each other in a very pathetic way.. also, I had nothing but J on my mind and thinking about how me and my ex hooking up will only lead to a bigger regret..
Thursday- Me and my ex were acting weird cause of our convo we had the night before.. um.. ling ling worried about me and J disliking eachother so we both continued to act like we didn't. Plus, it was secretly my reason to be away from him anyway because of yesterday..
Didn't work for long as my j, my ex and I take 3rd period together. There me and J were computer partners. I don't know why he sat by me, but further more, I shouldn't of let him! Idiot!! *beats self* Anyway, the entire time he was touching me.. like.. nothing sexual, just like poking me and squishing my cheeks together and pouting my face and stuff. Ugh.. he can't do that stuff.. x( So then, the ex popped out of no where and we didn't notice. Me and him just continued in random conversation until I started looking up my article. We found some of the information interesting, but more so him, so he just leaned in to the computer amazed at some things, but by doing so, he was falling all over my lap. That's when I happened to look and see my ex like 2 tables away looking kinda aggravated. So I quickly elbowed him and exited out my article, lol. Talk about panic.. lol.
Idk.. I shouldn't feel bad at all. My ex did worse to me. When he knew we were still mentally together, he always bothered a girl I kinda disliked. Then when me and her got a lot closer, continued bothering her. Plus the girl happened to be the girl J use to be with.. how double timing is that? So it's only right if the two hurt victims hook up, right? lol.. I say that so easily, but i'm not that cold hearted. Also, I can't lie and say we're basically trying to make each other angry, but we still care for each other so.. I know he didn't care for her.. but still.. the gall he had to even pull a thing like that.. sheesh dude.
Moving on, on my way to the bathroom, I stopped at my ex to see what was bothering him, he said nothing and just said that he was leaving school. I asked why and he just said because he didn't want to be there.. I kind of felt guilty then.. I tried to get him to stay, but I couldn't convince him. I just went continued on to the bathroom. On my way back, me and my ex ran into eachother on the steps, I tried to talk to him but he just kept walking and said he'd was coming back later. Back in the Library at the computer, Jordan was sitting in my seat while another guy was in his, so he moved over and let me sit. I sat side ways with my back to him. A while after when we were about to leave, we leaned on my back and bite my back and then bite me again around where my bra strap was. I just bit him back on the arm cause it hurt.. um.. he tends to do that a lot to people.. but not like that.. that was kinda.................. um.. yea.. not to mention, he mumbled something definately suggestive but when I asked what he said, he said nothing and apologized.. then said something like he doesn't know why he did that and apologized again.. which means he basically wants to do things with me but knows it's wrong like I do.. -_-
SOOO.. fast forward. Me and my gay guy best friend tae tae came late to last period so we couldn't go in. We met up with aretha and skipped in the cafeteria. A bit later, J and the ex walked in. Apparently they left school together and came back. They decided to skip with us. Then another guy, Lamar, walked in and joined us. So... the aura was quite weird between my ex and J and I. It really seemed like they were fighting for my attention. One time.. the ex dropped his phone between my legs, LOL.. i know right, ironic.. and J reached down and got it.. everyone thought that was way to comfortable.. lol.. he didn't touch me though, it just looked wrong. Then, when no one was paying attention, my ex nibbled my arm, and I was like.. "you can't do that.." and he said, "why not, it's not hard, so it's okay." Then J came out of no where and said, "because it turns her on.." everybody also thought that was a bit too weird.. mainly the ex. But before he could say anything, J quickly said, "... but I wouldn't know that.." and everyone looked at me.. lol. I was like, what?! He wouldn't?! The ex was like.. "but doesn't it?" in a sad way, and I stupidly replied, "Not when he does it! It's all hard and it hurts when he bites me!" Geez, I just told on him and myself.. things got super weird then. I started panicing and just picked his hand up and bit it in the most non-sexual way possible, LOL.. I was angry that he kept saying things and plus he bit me earlier and it hurt so I tried to settle it there.. but it didn't bother him.. xO It just made things uneasy.. ;~;
So yea... then aretha and tae tae left.. then J sort of backed off all of a sudden and my ex kept toying with me.. I was kinda glad, because at least that's accepted.. but things were still way weird, not to mention, what the hell, me and my ex aren't even suppose to be flirting.... not at all... x/
Friday- Off all the weird drama and straight to competition for the Georgia Career Student Association club. I was to take a test in the Entrepreneurship field. I was eligible along with only 3 other people in the region :D So it was 4 of us in different grades and from different schools across Georgia. Also there were two boys, 9th & 10th, and two girls, 11th and me in 12th ^___^ The girl wrote music!! *o* I need to find her and talk business with her! She went to Chapel Hill High, I remember!
Anyway, to make a long story short, I won first place!! :D Boo yah~ I got my plaque, and I'm going to State in April on Jekyll Island! *u* I don't know about you, but that's pretty freaking cool. I just wish it was a school trip, or the club consisted of more people and ones i'm actually good friend's with :/ I'm good friends with NO one in the club. Of course I talk to all of them, but just as classmates or associates.. *sigh*
Anyhow, i'm proud and I can't wait to go. IF... there's some possible way my photos can be retreated to me by mid march, I can change my section to Graphic Arts - Photography and see how that goes. :) Because that was my original plan, but my good photos were stuck on a dead computer :/
Getting back to school I learned my ex's ipod touch, his precious might I add, got stolen. I couldn't be happy after that, surprisingly.. I knew how important is was to him and plus you can't be happy after something so expensive got lost anyway. Also, my new Vivienne Westwood ring I got not long ago was stolen, so I could totally feel his anger and pain :(
Um... I really don't know why fate wouldn't let me be happy, but I had practice for the play after school too.. and boy.. when I finished, I just got sick. My throat had been hurting since that morning but not that bad. I blamed it on singing. Plus I wore heels and my back was literally killing me. I blame sitting in cafeteria seats for 3 hours >:|
So yea.. I think I have a fever now.. it's crazy. Maybe this is God's way of punishing me for my recent frolicing or letting things happen.. idk.. x/
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Opening February ♥
Guys.. 12809, 12909 & 13009 were days I honestly was happy I was with you both. Call me being a girl.. call me dramatic, but you.. no matter how many stories I hear about you and your washington-once-was, and no matter how hurt I still feel about all the other stuff, I won't lie and say I could do nothing but be happy those days. And you.. i'm not suppose to care, but I do. I think, to have you alone is just not right for long, lol. Though I may enjoy your company a bit more sometimes, it's only better when you're a team. But you're like the cool guy friend I never had that I can relax around completely, lol. Anyway, those days made me think of old days before things began to get difficult.. you guys remember some of those care free days? Without awkwardness and frustration? Just chillin after school on Fridays a few times, rockin to guitar hero.. well not me. Thinking about it, makes me miss it all.. it all seems too much like a distant daydream. Because even then we had some issues we thought were bad.. we never got to appreciate them, because maybe we can agree that they were a lot more comforting than now. But anyway, those days listed above, even though nothing really happened at all, let's just say i'll remember them anyway. Let's say they reminded me of what carefree felt like.... so.. lets end our school days together, just like that. That would make me happy. :)
....Okay.. homo emo chick, checkin out~
.Oyasumi.
....Okay.. homo emo chick, checkin out~
.Oyasumi.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
So far so good♥
Soo.. this week of the Presidents inauguration, was a wonderful wonderful week. :)
Monday- No school
Tuesday- No teachers were at school.. watched the inauguration with the school, chilled the rest of the day.
Wednesday- Wasted the day really, lol. x3
Thursday- Camwhored, wore a cute new outfit at school :)
Got flirted on by my ex, lol.. and his friend. I don't know if that's big to you guys but that's great to me, hehe. Got my hair done later that day.
Friday- Didn't go to school.. ended up just chilling at home.. yay, heheh~
Saturday- Went out to pick up my friend Naimah's present for her 19th birthday. Went to Wolf Camera and got a new Nikon. Got a new purse and 3 pairs of earrings at Target, hehe♥
Got home, packed, got ready, left for Mariatou's house, the house where all of our group was suppose to meet, waited for the other girls to get ready, and then we all left to a house party thrown for Naimah's b-day out in camp creek. We jammed like hell in the car to some songs i've never heard, LOL. They were nice. Anyway, arrived, Naimah looked amazing again. Saw some of her good friends I met before, mingled, danced a bit, ate, gave presents, had a nice, interesting time. Was mad though that my aunt wouldn't let me take my camera, so, I didn't take pictures. But they had cameras so.. hopefully that means I'll get the pictures from Naimah.
Sunday- (morning.. 12 am+)
We all found out we were going to this club out on Buford High Way.. forgot the name of it.. it was an African club. Oh yea, because Naimah's from Senegal so like all of her friends are African, seriously. But it was cool because I can dance to their music, lol. I should, it's of my background.
Anyway, we all got in the car and headed for the club. Got there, it was cold as heck. They asked for ID's but.. we didn't have any, they let us in anyway, lol. So.. started off kinda lame.. but people started crowding in and dancing started to get a little fun. To make a long story short, I danced with a couple guys, including the birthday girl's man about 3 times, lol. Wow.. that makes me sound whorish. But I always have like a hard time dancing with guys so this made me a lot more confident. :)
So, after a while, this one guy, Alajie, he got me while I was resting to come dance with him. Tell me why me and him got extra personal on the floor and danced straight through 5 songs. And don't let me forget to mention all of the songs were full length, and two of them were SUPER long. Like 7 minutes long, lol. I nearly passed out. Sad, right? So out of shape. But he got me again and we danced two more songs before the night was over. We both got tired by then and just circled on the floor holding each other, lol. It was sweet. When we realized it, we started laughing and he came and sat by me. After awhile, we left and I got to ride with him back to the house. Me and him flirted in the back the whole ride. We exchanged numbers and stuff. ^^ When I left he tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him. Lol.. he's so cute though. He was like, "wait.. before you feel insulted, you can't blame me for trying.." xD Oh geez, well he got out and hugged me but wouldn't let me go afterward! lol.. he was all like, "No wait, what if we don't see each other anymore?!" LOL!
Later that day, we texted and talked most of the day. And we just got off the phone a while ago. ^^ Oh, and he calls me 'Miss Portia', lol. Wow. Honestly, I'm just like so nervous around him from this point on, even though I know he's into me. But i'm afraid I might mess something up... not too skilled in this game you know.. x/
Well but anyway, glad I met a cool new guy. Oh yea, and he's already graduated and has a car and a job.. so.. upgrade! xD
So the messed up and weird this is, my mom dated an Islander when she was 17. Guy from the Virgin Islands. And I dated Theo when I was 17, who was Jamacian. Then she met a African guy at a house party with a lot of other Africans later. Like how I met Alajie at a house party with a lot of Africans. Then she goes on to tell me, they were both whores. Which she did say about Theo.. which was true.. got if you're catching on, this is bad news. But if this all plays out and I do follow my moms fate with guys, next, i'll be dating a guy from New York, lol.
