Thursday, May 03, 2007
Love is the strongest word I can think of..
First post for May; last month of school. Three more weeks..
Right about now, I feel like crying. And not for anyway bad reasons. I'm actually so very happy.. happier than I've been in years. I've had a crazy day.. but like an hour ago, I stopped my long long talk pouring out my heart to a school mate of mine. I told him so much. I told him my heart, and I know how chessy and LAME this might sound.. but I feel so free now. I feel so good, it's like I have no weight on my shoulders.
I'm over Toledo.. I still think he's cute.. but my feelings for him are definitely gone. And I'm not mad at him anymore. And I don't have any cold feelings towards any girls he was with, and I'm not angry I never took him for myself. I'm just fine. There's no guy or girl I like, in yet.. I feel so in love. I just love everybody, and just can't stop smiling. I want to go to all my enemies and school mates I don't even know and hug them. lol. I feel so at peace, It's like I can FINALLY relax, and I like it. :) I guess it's because, I usually keep myself bottled up all the time, and when I do let out my feelings, no one ever listens, it makes me so angry, I hate how no one thinks of anyone but themselves. It sucks, I feel like the only sane positive person, and everyone around me are insane and negative. So I never really get what I wanna say out.. and it stays there for along long time. It's stressful. But today, I talked for hours.. and all he did was listen. So thank you for doing so. Just God for letting him be there, because I really needed it. Thanks a lot.
I'm not envious of anyone, I miss BB and Tianzhen, but it's not worrying me. I'm not complaining about how I still don't have the things I want. I'm not complaining about how my life isn't fair.. i'm not feeling anxious or stressed.. and this is the first in a LONG time. Really. I'm in complete relaxation. I think i'll go enjoy that now ^_^
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Ugh! I'm so cheesy.. xD and i'm suppose to be eating dinner -_-;;
Anyway.. um, yeah. Nothing else to really talk about..
Sometime like next week i'll be changing my blog because I want something peaceful because of what? My mood of course. I said I always change according to how i'm feeling. I'm gonna try and see if Lyla's layout works first. If not, i'll do one myself. ^^
See ya then.. ♥
Labels: life, school