Sunday, September 30, 2007
A Goodbye for September
Things I had no time to rant about... September 18th-
Since the following weekend my friends and I were up at the mall before we went to the movies, there were some stockings that caught my eyes. I told my aunt about them and she, like me, loves decorative leggings, so she took me to go get them. While we were there we ended up buying two pairs of shoes along with them. A pair of black suede flat boots and 3 inch school girl styled heels ^^ I love them AND my shimmery stockings! Now I can't wait for Winter! :D
September 23rd
I was still excited about the convention and I was planning all my ideas for the next one, so I drew a picture and showed it off to my mom. She eventually got really fed up and once again killed my dreams. This is the PM between me and Krystal about it:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -POINE '♥ - o(≧∀≦)o -
Date: Sep 23, 2007 4:23 PM
Hey Zix! Yeah, I can't wait for next year!! I am super duper excited! I went only yesterday, but I enjoyed myself. This was my second year :]
A lot of people's costumes were awesome of course.. but I wasn't as excited about it as I was last year. It wasn't because the costumes weren't as good.. it's just that I was too busy being anxious. I didn't even go crazy over accessories and food and the events. The more and more I took pictures or talked to different cosplayers, I became more anxious and more impatient.. not enjoying everything to the fullest.
At first I didn't understand why, but now I definitely know what it is. I want to experience being a real cosplayer! x/ I wanna make my own costumes really badly.. gotta learn how to sew and stuff!! I think I wanna do it first finishing my recent desired outfit. A kogal school girl. I already have the shoes and Japanese slouch socks. I have to make the shirt, skirt and accessories.. just brain storming for now though.. ^^
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: k3r8y5s9t0á112.
Date: Sep 23, 2007 4:57 PM
aww, try to enjoy yourself next time!
You're really lucky you know having gone and still going
and your parents let you :s
heh make me one heh lol j/p
aw but thats great, good brainstorming!
At least you're determined ^^
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -POINE '♥ - o(≧∀≦)o -
Date: Sep 23, 2007 5:17 PM
Yah.. since I didn't know I was going I just wore the same outfit as last time. Not last AWA, but on Nana Day :3
Oh yeah.. i'm lucky. But my mom is REALLY getting tired of it. She doesn't want me making my own clothes because she said it's just as much money wasted and it's just stupid and pointless. She told me how it's not like anybodies winning any prizes and getting money.. so it's stupid. She also told me i'm just doing it because i'm following other people.. that If I was really interested I would have been doing it by now T_T Some of that is right.. it is a bit of money and it's not really for a cause but to have fun.. but she doesn't have to call me a stupid follower! She could support it a little! She should be glad I wanna do it. She could of just said, "Well.. you better find a job because i'm not going to give you money for it." And no I'm not doing it JUST because others are! I always liked the idea! Like duh.. i love fashion. I love making things and doing arts and crafts; creating clothing ideas. And just thinking about measuring and cutting out designs, sewing and adding on things for a certain cause.. that's so exciting to me. I'm just so interested now because I saw how hard other people worked and how skilled they are! Does that make me a follower?!
You and others might think i'm lucky because mom lets me go, but it's just because if she doesn't, i'll be mad and she'll feel guilty. She always nags me about it and it really hurts my feelings. With that.. I just rather not go. I mean, what's the point? She always somehow spoils it for me.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: k3r8y5s9t0á112.
Date: Sep 23, 2007 5:29 PM
Woah, sorry for that, it sure must be tough and sad that your mom thinks its a complete waste of time and money which the money part i completely understand.. My dad would be the same way except not let me go period. But you're completely right, i totally agree! She should have at least some compassion towards that cuz it is what u really love doing and if it helps you with that and if u choose to go for that as a career then its not a waste of time at all.
But i'd say don't let it get to you too much even though it sure must of hurt. i would have been the same way but angry like, "Okay, whatever Mom! Whatever!" Lol!! But just be glad you got to go, right? Try to work around it for now. Hope you have a good one. :D
----
Not only that, about 2 months ago when I was pacing over going to Japan or Austraila, she put my hopes down and said, "You're not going anywhere! No one has money for you to be running around in other countries just to have fun. Not free money laying around anyway! That's just a big waste. Stop getting excited, you are NOT going anywhere, okay?!" I told my aunt in Ohio about the trips but that my mom didn't want me to go. She said, "What? She doesn't want you to go? She expects you to NOT go experience an experience of a life time? Why not?!" And other stuff about how she can't believe she's not letting me go. I agree with myself and others %100.. it's not fair that she keeps putting me down like this. And yet.. all her reasons are %100 correct and now I feel spoiled again. I feel as if I deserve these things, but she makes me feel like i'm a sinner for wanting them. T___T A job is my only solution.. x/
By the way, here is the sketch I drew..
A bit of Brainstorming for an outfit idea.. mind the sorry anatomy in the legs.. it's just a sketch, I didn't care much.... and anyway I did it in pen, so.. lol. Need some ideas people! Now I know it's my decision, but like I said, i'm brainstorming, so any little idea counts. Don't hesitate to throw me one. :] Also, the colors aren't something I was looking into.. I just colored it for a fill in and to make it easier to see any layers. However, the clothing is an idea I did intend to use. So i'd appreciate it if any of you tell me about it, give me ideas to alter it, including the hair, accessories, materials used, fabric and color ideas. Or I can just say all extra things i'm looking for is written on the side of the sketch.. mind my sloppy hand writing, I was brainstorming, xD The vertical one is just for people who don't feel like tilting their head to read the extras x)September 25th
Kai called me!! Thank the lord! I missed my dear lover! Lol.. she had a lot to say o.o Of course.. I had talked with her that entire month x( Her mom wouldn't let her talk until she got herself together in school. So i'm proud now! She's doing so well! :D
Today was also Aryonna's 17th Birthday!! :3 I hope she had a great time~ ♥
September 26th
The writing test was sooo NOT that serious -___- Had a fight with Tay and Kai.. insensitive assholes!!
September 29th
Omg.. is right. Here's a bulletin that was posted by me last night:
Here I am having an aggravating September and my opening October gets fucked up in the stupidest way!
Tell me why my aunt opens a bottle of lemon juice and doesn't refrigerate it until 4 days later.. then I go into the fridge and start drinking it not knowing it wasn't fresh.. because it's NOT milk.. I didn't know it was spoiled.. plus it was added to sugar and water.. it tasted like Minute Maid. Now i'm sick and nauseated as fuck. WTH.. i'm woosy right now and I keep gagging!
So this woman goes, "Well, I forgot to throw it away! Why did you drink it?! Didn't you know it was spoiled?!"
YOU PUT IT BACK IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE, YOU BITCH!!
Eww.. Caps D:
The expiration date doesn't matter if it wasn't refrigerated! Damn!!
I'm making fresh lemonade from now on. Morale of the fucking story~
September 30th
Yahhhhh!! Ayumi Hamasaki's birthday is in 2 days! :D She'll be 29! ZOMGz.. hahah! I guess I should post her two latest videos.. and some scans?? :3 Lol~
Sad thing about this is, Tianzhen Ni's birthday is 2 days after. She'll be 18. A happy 4 day in advance b-day to the girl that still haunts me and pours into my dreams giving me nightmares. Thanks a lot for leaving my life in ruins. Who would of ever thought a year after your birthday celebration you would be gone? Who would of ever thought that instead of being closer, we would be this far apart? No... it's not what I thought at all. I can honestly say, it was a horrible conclusion. I just wish things were a lot different....
Labels: ayumi hamasaki, life, school
